When someone begins a conservatorship proceeding, a judge must hear evidence on the person's mental capacity. If the judge concludes that a conservator is necessary, he or she will appoint one -- commonly, the spouse or adult child.

It's rare, but sometimes several family members or friends may vie for the job. If that happens, the judge follows preferences established by state law. Most states give preference to the conservatee's spouse, registered domestic partner, adult children, adult siblings, or other blood relatives. But a judge who thinks someone else is best for the job may pick that person.

Without strong evidence of what the conservatee would have wanted, it is unlikely that a nonrelative would be appointed conservator if a relative is available to serve. Because of this, conservatorship proceedings may cause great heartache if an estranged relative is chosen as conservator over the conservatee's partner or close friend. If no one suitable is available to serve as conservator, the judge may appoint a public or other professional conservator.