Why should I leave written instructions about my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body?

Letting your survivors know your wishes spares them the difficulty of making these decisions at a painful time. And many family members and friends find that discussing these matters ahead of time is great relief -- especially if a person is elderly or in poor health and death is expected soon.

Making plans can also save money. For many people, death goods and services cost more than anything they bought during their lives except homes and cars. Some wise comparison shopping in advance can ensure that costs will be controlled.

Why not leave instructions for my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body in my will?

A will is not a good place to express your death and burial preferences for one simple reason: Your will might not be located and read until several weeks after you die -- long after decisions must be made.

A will should be reserved for directions on how to divide and distribute your property and, if applicable, who should get care and custody of your children if you die while they're still young.

Where is the best place to leave written instructions for my final arrangements?

You have many options for writing down your wishes and plans. If you like, you can write a simple letter to your executor and other loved ones that spells out the details of your final arrangements. If you need help organizing your thoughts, Nolo offers two resources that can help:

• Quicken WillMaker Plus can create a final arrrangements document for you. The software program asks you questions about your wishes and then produces a detailed letter you can give to others.
• Get It Together: Organize Your Records So Your Family Won't Have To, by Melanie Cullen with Shae Irving, J.D., is a workbook with CD-ROM that provides a complete system for documenting information for your executor and family members, including your wishes for final arrangements.

Whatever method you choose, be certain to talk to your loved ones about your plans. If you write down what you want, let them know where the information is stored and how to get to it when the time comes.

Finally, it's a good idea to review your plans every year or two to be sure they still reflect your wishes. Update your letter or other instructions if you change any of the details of your arrangements.

What happens if I don't leave written instructions for my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body?

If you die without leaving written instructions about your preferences, state law will usually determine who will have the right to decide how your remains will be handled. In most states, the right -- and the responsibility to pay for the reasonable costs of disposing of remains -- rests with the following people, in order:

• spouse or registered domestic partner
• child or children
• parent or parents
• the next of kin, or
• a public administrator, who is appointed by a court.

Disputes may arise if two or more people -- the deceased person's children, for example -- share responsibility for a fundamental decision, such as whether the body of a parent should be buried or cremated. But such disputes can be avoided if you are willing to do some planning and to put your wishes in writing.

In an increasing number of states, if you make a health care power of attorney, you can give the person you name to make health care decisions for you (your "agent") the power to make decisions about your remains. But, even if you do this, you may want to leave written instructions about your wishes. Your health care agent will be legally required to follow your directions, though he or she is not required to pay for the arrangements -- the money will come from your assets or family members who are legally required to pay.